[Podcast Ep 3] The Myth of the Giver

Hello Everyone!

The next episode of my podcast is out! Episode 3: The Myth of the Giver.

I absolutely celebrate whole-heartedly when a man is dedicated to making sure the woman he’s with orgasms every time. Thank you to those men… AND I’ve worked with more than one couple where his desire to give her pleasure has actually created stress for her. She starts to feel obligated to come for him and her body is less and less relaxed and in her own unfolding of pleasure.

In this episode we explore what we might do to move beyond our attachments to a certain outcome and be in a true exploration so sex can go to the next level.

*Yes, this is episode is geared towards heterosexual relationships, not all episodes will be! Dynamics in relating between men and women are what I have the most experience with personally and in my 20 years of work.

Click these links to listen: APPLE . SPOTIFY

Pretty please, wherever you get your podcasts… if you enjoy this episode:

FOLLOW, GIVE IT 5 STARS, LEAVE A REVIEW, SHARE WITH A FRIEND... all the things!! I genuinely could use some community support making sure the work I do gets seen in this wacky world. If it has been valuable to you, and it's authentic for you to share, that would mean so much to me!

love-
Charu

P.S. I’m also available for private one-on-one sessions if you are ready to get some support with your own relationship to your sexuality or your partnership.


Summary

Charu Morgan, a podcast host, has been teaching Neo Tantra practices for 20 years, focusing on relationships, intimacy, and sexual aliveness.

Despite being a queer woman, Charu focuses on the dynamics in heterosexual relationships mainly due to her experiences and aims to provide tools for navigating these dynamics, particularly between male and female-bodied individuals.

While she appreciates men who focus on giving pleasure to their partners, there is a caution that the pressure to ensure their partner orgasms can be stressful.

Women's bodies and minds vary, making it hard to predict reactions. Communication is key, even if expressing discomfort can be challenging. The focus is on oral sex, where the giver's investment can lead to stress for the receiver.

Charu discusses the importance of shifting focus from the pressure of making a partner orgasm to cultivating curiosity and attunement in lovemaking. She highlights the value of creating a deep sense of safety and relaxation to enhance the overall experience. The conversation emphasizes moving away from fixating on a specific goal and embracing a more exploratory and attentive approach towards intimacy and suggests opening up a dialogue with your partner about their pleasure and any pressure they may feel. It's important to listen without letting ego get in the way, even if feedback feels challenging. Taking space to process and care for yourself is encouraged before returning to the conversation.

She also emphasizes the importance of being open, curious, and attentive to your partner's needs and desires in order to deepen pleasure and intimacy. It suggests creating a safe space for honest communication about what brings pleasure without pressure. By being receptive and genuinely interested in what your partner wants, you can enhance the experience of lovemaking and relaxation. If difficulties arise in communication, seeking guidance from a professional is recommended.

She shares the importance of listening to our partner's needs without letting our own fears or desire to be right hinder the communication. Charu emphasizes the need to be open, curious, and willing to make adjustments to meet our partner's needs. She acknowledges that feeling defensive or out of control is normal and suggests self-care and seeking support to navigate these emotions - encouraging staying curious and open in conversations with our partner to foster a healthy relationship.

Exploring sexual dynamics can reveal parallels in other areas of life. By addressing pressure or goals in sex, intimacy can deepen. Experimenting with removing the focus on orgasm can lead to more curiosity, playfulness, and connection. This approach allows for a broader sensory experience and relaxation, rather than intense goal-oriented focus.The speaker encourages couples to experiment and expand their lovemaking experiences, while still enjoying what they already have. They emphasize the excitement and inspiration of exploring new possibilities in relationships.

Click these links to listen: APPLE . SPOTIFY

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[Podcast Ep 4] How would you like to be made love to?

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[Podcast Ep.2] Making Sensual Time Without Pressure